Many relationships include one Great Saver and one Big Spender…
This can involve some clashing mentalities.

Bride and groom picture-part from: money examiners

 Big Spenders like the feel-good nature of experiencing products, acquiring them (forgetting about them) and moving on to the next thing.  Price and purpose are momentary in thought, blind spots, easily forgettable in the slur of purchasing Nerdbucks coffees, and many unnecessary things in stores.

Most Big Spenders can be converted, but it takes a dose of the TRUTH – they have to see it, understand it, feel it, and finally they must know within their bones the reason for holding cash, instead of forking it over at impulse…

While many couples use the same bank account, the stress of different spending habits can be a real problem, especially if one person is trying to save money.  To Big Spenders, saving appears to require great discipline, though when goals align, usually two minds can start to see the same big picture…

Goals come from desires, desires strong enough to derail impulses of the moment.
People change when they really, really want something.


One obvious answer would be showing your spouse a few select articles right off this website…  The many Lifetime Cost articles in the “Money Saver Ideas” category can hit like a shovel to the face of anyone who reads them for the first time.  When you are talking about taking on deep savings with your spouse, begin with ideas that touch on things they are LEAST passionate about!!!  If your spouse loves their expensive car more than anything in the world, don’t begin there.  Begin with things like groceries, and cell phone bills, and talking about THE FUTURE, security, the possibility of Early Retirement, and true freedom!

We all want to succeed in life, even Big Spenders.  I know zero people who actually want to fail.  I’ve read about a specific group of intentionally self-depreciating yogi’s who create scenarios of squalor to live within, but they are few in number.  The rest of us are doomed to provide food, shelter, and a future to ourselves and the people we love.  Like it, or leave it, the goal of fruitful survival means setting forth on a path towards financial levity.

For some, it’s very easy to forget the absence of a future plan.
People who are naturally Great Savers are always aware of financial futures in some way, whether it’s in logical thought and planning, or in sensed feelings alone.  For Great Savers, something is always pulling them away from running a cash-give-away marathon provided by themselves, for the bankers and businesses all around them…

Big Spenders just need to see
how their current activity
is sabotaging their own future…

No worries, because Big Spenders actually like money, the problem is that cash evacuates their wallets in waves because money has the power of exchange, and exchange is incredibly human.  People are always exchanging emotions, ideas, and material things: re-establishing the source impulses can convert Big Spenders away from their painful habit: they have to feel the power of saving, which is actually stronger than the power of exchange when it comes to frivolous things.

Some people are just naturally more into ‘things’, and some people are naturally non-materialistic.  For non-materialistic people, the though of exchanging massive blocks of their own labor for overpriced things feels like enduring something really uncomfortable… they might be able to do it a couple times, but after a few instances, they literally start to feel depressed and stupid: there grows a direct correlation between frivolous spending and self-esteem.

Big Spenders often suffer the opposite: their want for material things overwhelms everything else.  They might have zero savings, but when a shiny jet ski is for sale, and they’re in the mood to acquire, they just pull the trigger and buy, buy, buy!!!  Sure, that purchase has yielded a nuclear attack on their future of savings, but they are happy as hell…

Most likely, your spouse is not a manic spender, but like all topics of interest, maybe your spouse haven’t visited the DEEP UNDERSTANDING of simple personal finance and future-protection of living.  Seriously, it can be as simple as that, just having a look at real information has always changed the world: as individuals, we can’t see everything by ourselves.  We grow older, we learn stuff, we get bored and learn something new again.  Eventually, most people want to find ways to earn or create something better: we want to grow.

Big Spenders need to see for themselves how at least one of their spending habits is costing them tens of thousands of dollars in the near future that translate into whole chunks of “$1 million dollars” in the lifetime scheme of things.  It can really help to show a Big Spender how their current spending habit is directly affecting something they actually need right now, and how a shift in habits could lead to getting that need fulfilled in the future, if they curb their habits now, to permit that future.

For most couples, the goal for early retirement might simply be enough.  Who really wants to be forced to do slave work for another business, everyday forever???  Bad spending habits will make that a reality.  The only thing that will remedy that situation is to become a Great Saver.

The only thing that will free a couple from financial slavery… is becoming Great Savers.
The only thing that will give a couple freedom… is becoming Great Savers.
The only thing that will protect a couple’s future…. Great Savers.

Together, a couple can establish SUBSTANTIAL savings; greater than any single person can because they have tax breaks, and they are naturally roommates, so they split the bills…

However, even when a couple’s spending habits are inline, CRITICAL MOMENTS OF SPENDING can end up being the back-breaker.  The old “keeping up with the Jones'” is now cliche… I don’t think a lot of that excess spending is really coming from wanting to keep up with the neighbors.  Sometimes even when Great Savers enter moments that require great expenditures, there can be  momentary flashes of internalized greed, or a sort of upgrade-insanity.  When it comes time to make a big purchase, some secret part of us can suddenly lurch in and WANT a slightly bigger houses, or slightly shinier car, and it can erase years of Great Savings! Though, we trade our ENTIRE FUTURE for such things.

Savings is not about spending less on one thing, so that you can spend more on another thing: that’s how children save.  Adults must establish their well-being on planet Earth, like the animals we are!  Sure, we have come to accept Big Commerce, but the raw fact is, someone is always capitalizing on us!

If money could rain from the Heavens, it would surely be so,
but inflation would skyrocket, and once again,
we would be in the same spot we are right now.

        …our finances are based on LEVERAGE, and leverage is based on earning potentials: how much is our hour of labor worth?  How deeply into the future will our hour of labor reach?  We are all merchants of labor, and every dollar spent represents LABOR.  Labor represents life, and what is more vital and precious than life itself???  We must honor that life and treat money with true value.  That is the core of Great Savings, and the goal of Early Retirement.

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One Response to SPOUSES transformed: GREAT SAVER COUPLES

  1. Anna says:

    My hubby spends a lot more than I do, it’s time to buckle down for retirement, I think I’ll show him this.

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